Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Go Jesus go Jesus GO!

aw man, i was all about to post about how the stupid DOVE foundation called me today, but then as I was about to begin my sister called and I fell asleep and now have lost the momentum I had to blog about it. Oh well, here's a half-assed version of our conversation, i will be represented by the lazy eyed Paris Hilton:


Me: Urgh. Hhhhello?

DOVE robot: Hello! May I please speak to the lady of the house?

Me, annoyed and in gruff man voice: Uh, this is her.

DOVE: Hello! This is (craphead) from the Dove Foundation. That's D-O-V-E. We're not trying to sell you anything, we're a non-profit organization blah blah MPAA ratings, blah family entertainment, blah Hollywood, blah blah save the children. Do you believe there's not enough family entertainment in movies and television?

Me: Uhh...what.

DOVE: Blah blah, please don't hang up, even though my voice has way too much pep in it, we're conducting a survey familys morals familys morals, going into a long shpeal now family, mor-

Me, suspecting that I am talking to a recording therefore can just hang it up: WAIT, what what hello? What?

DOVE: -rals, family, YES? Can you hear me alright?

Me, dissapointed: Oh, yes, yes I can hear you.

DOVE: Do you have any children or grandchildren under the age of 16?

Me: NO. (Hell no.)

DOVE: We'll that's okay, let me explain, blah blah parents feel helpless, MPAA system benefits only Hollywood, too lenient, blah blah not enough family oriented movies, wouldn't it be great if those movies got produced?

Me: ....What exactly do you mean by family movies? *Thinks, Disney-fied white hetero nuclear family type crap*

DOVE: Okay! Thanks for your time! *click*

Me: ....

From the DOVE website:

What is the Survey about?

  • This survey helps Dove represent the desires of the public to Hollywood filmmakers. Many surveys in the past have been conducted by the entertainment industry itself, which produces skewed results. For example, the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA), an organization funded by the major film studios, has continuously maintained that 78% of the movie-going public is "satisfied" with the movie ratings system. The MPAA survey results are obviously designed to protect their position in the industry. The Dove survey, on the other hand, is the largest poll ever taken that measures the public's opinion about the state of entertainment content. As such, the results will be unquestionably accurate and without prejudice.

Not if you keep hanging up on anyone that doesn't mindlessly go along with your stupid questions! Teh lames. I like this writer's imaginary conversation with DOVE.

And now a sound clip from a show that is the opposite of wholesome family entertainment, and one of my most favorite shows, Wondershowzen.


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